Back in the Saddle

It's been a while since I last felt I had something to say.  I'm not really sure what I want to say, but I feel compelled to write, so here I am.  Dear Lord, guide my thoughts from my head to my fingertips.  If I can't be eloquent, at least let me be coherent.  Help me to say what someone else needs to hear, in the name of your precious Son, Jesus.

The other day, I started listening to Margaret Becker again.  I never go very long without listening to her music, because I find that she says what is so often in my own heart.

    "Who am I, Jesus, that You call me by name?"

    "May I never grow so strong my heart cannot be moved . . ."

    "Calling for deeper love, calling for higher truth, calling for anything that leads me deeper and farther on with You."

    "You remain unchanged, unchanged."

So many of her songs speak of longing.  Wanting something more . . . meaningful, more satisfying, more fulfilling.  Yearning for something deeper than anything this world offers.  Solomon, the great and wise king, engaged not in a mere "chasing after the wind," but a pursuit of the thing that will satiate the soul's appetite, once and for all.  The living water that Jesus promised the woman at the well.  The well that would never run dry of water to slake the thirst eternally.  Nothing else is good enough--not all the things, not all the relationships, not all the activities or the power or the competition.  The world in its entirety is too small, too insignificant, too impermanent.  

I've been feeling pretty dissatisfied lately.  Like most people, I've tried to fill the hole I perceive in myself with food and buying things and watching movies and playing video games and reading books.  Those things aren't bad in and of themselves, but when earthly things are used to satisfy a spiritual hunger and thirst, we'll always be left wanting more.  I guess I forgot that.  I'm not looking for stuff.  Or things to take up my time.  

    "I'm looking for the You that used to speak so clear,                                                                                      I'm looking for the me that had a heart to hear,                                                                                             And I'm looking for the passion that held me here on the edge.                                                                   Find me.  Find me.  I'll wait for You."

Amen.  Amen.




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