Inspirations and Illuminations

Today is my last day of being 54.  At 2:28 tomorrow morning, my odometer flips to 55.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.  40 was traumatic.  I cried a lot.  At 45 I still had a little one to navigate through growing up and finding herself in the world, so my focus was anywhere but the number I had to put on forms.  50 happened during the whole COVID mess.  Disappointing that this milestone had to go by without the celebration I'd been looking forward to.  And now 55.  I'll say all the things everyone says, because, why not:  I don't feel a day over 30 (except for that pinched nerve in my back that just happened while I was brushing my teeth this morning).  If 50 is the new 40 then 55 is the new 45, right?  Maybe in terms of life expectancy, but 50 is still 50.  I'm growing old gracefully, embracing the wrinkles (laugh lines) and gray hair (silvery sparkles), but I did go pink for awhile earlier this year.  My memory...

I'm feeling out-of-sorts this morning.  This last couple of weeks have been exhausting (I'll get to that in a minute), and I think it all hit me today.  I set my alarm for 5 a.m. every day, but I'm usually awake by 4:30 at the latest, so I have time to do the New York Times Wordle, Connections, and Mini before I get up.  A little brain wake-up before the shower and coffee do the rest.  This morning, the alarm woke me at 5, and I realized I'd slept "wrong"--my head felt like it was going to explode.  So I snoozed, as per usual, but my alarm clock has a mind of its own:  the alarm went off again after three minutes instead of nine.  I stayed in bed for another couple of minutes, wondering if the headache would cease once I got up and moving.  So I did, and it did.   The shower and the coffee are being put on administrative leave, because they are just not doing their jobs today.  I feel fuzzy.  Does that make sense?  Does an...

It's been a while since I last felt I had something to say.  I'm not really sure what I want to say, but I feel compelled to write, so here I am.  Dear Lord, guide my thoughts from my head to my fingertips.  If I can't be eloquent, at least let me be coherent.  Help me to say what someone else needs to hear, in the name of your precious Son, Jesus. The other day, I started listening to Margaret Becker again.  I never go very long without listening to her music, because I find that she says what is so often in my own heart.     "Who am I, Jesus, that You call me by name?"     "May I never grow so strong my heart cannot be moved . . ."     "Calling for deeper love, calling for higher truth, calling for anything that leads me deeper and farther on with You."     "You remain unchanged, unchanged." So many of her songs speak of longing.  Wanting something more . . . meaningful, more satisfying, more fulfilling.  Yearn...

Don't you love it when you read or watch something for the umpteenth time and notice something different?  To me, that's kind of THE test of the quality of a book or movie, that not only do I find it deserving of experiencing multiple times, but that it speaks to me differently at different times, and new things capture my attention or make me think of something in an unexpected way.  It's like an old friend you see for the first time in many years--there's the beautiful familiarity of the relationship as it was, coupled with the life each experienced in the intervening years, and the accompanying maturity each has achieved.   My reading today did that for me.  The last three weeks have been hard.  Watching insecurity manifest itself in self-centered power grabbing and metaphorical kneeling on the necks of the already-oppressed has left me starving for reason, for peace, for justice.  Ambition joined to competition, greed, and aggression is simply exha...

 Good morning!  A little disclaimer:  I have to get my things together to go to work in just 25 minutes, so that's my time limit to write this little musing.  So I may not do much editing this time.  Let's just see how it goes (24 minutes left . . .) I try to do a little Bible reading every day.  Depending on how I sleep the night before, snoozing a couple more times may be a better way to prepare myself for the day (complete honesty here), so sometimes it's in the evening, and some days I just don't get to it.  I read a little devotional and then take the passage of scripture and read it several times, in several versions, to help the message sink in.  When I did yesterday's reading, it stuck out to me as an idea that would be good for anyone to espouse, not only those of us who try to follow the teachings of the Bible.  It's from the first letter of the apostle Peter:  "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve ot...

I'm becoming somewhat obsessed with the idea of decluttering.  I've subscribed to a few email lists about simplicity, living simply, minimalism, and decluttering, and enjoy gleaning the ideas in an effort to simplify my own life, to declutter.  I like to read books about things like Swedish Death Cleaning (that's really a thing, and if you haven't checked it out, I highly recommend it), making life simpler, and time-saving hacks.  I think when most people hear the word "minimalism," they think of getting rid of all one's possessions, and sleeping on the floor.  Talk about living simply, and the mental picture is of the Amish or a "hippie" commune.  It's usually about stuff.  Physical stuff.  Eliminating the stuff you already have and reducing the stuff you acquire.   I also think a lot about the word "enough."  I made a bracelet at a women's retreat last year, and after agonizing over designing the perfect bracelet decided it sh...